The Feds, The Family, and The Foolery

Poor Yorick  S2, Ep4

So, the feds raided Empire and Lyon Dynasty. The DA was still searching for evidence to put Lucious back in prison for good. Becky tried filming it, but the feds took her phone. They found nothing. Never one to leave a stone unturned, Madame Tig-ol’-Bitties (the DA) even showed up at Lucious’ house, twins leading the way.

Um… Can somebody tap Lucious on the shoulder and tell him he isn’t sexy? Though I’m pretty sure he was dressed in bed, he got nekkid just in time for DA Roxanne’s entrance into his bedroom. That would’ve been the perfect opportunity for her to insult him and his little lion. But no.

While mostly everyone was up in arms about the invasion, Lucious saw it as an opportunity to capitalize off of a potentially negative situation. He wanted Empire to run as usual. After all, the raid made him look like an O.G.

He met with the rest of the family. Atty. Easter Suit advised them to put on a united front until the FBI drama died down. Once Vernon’s body was found, they could go back to hating each other in front of everybody. Andre tried not to fidget as he knew damn well where the body was. Hakeem asked Lucious straight-up if he killed Bunky. Lucious sincerely answered that  he “couldn’t lay a finger on him.” Well, that wasn’t a bad lie, I suppose. He didn’t lay a finger on him. His finger was on the trigger.

As part of the united front, Jamal and Hakeem filmed a video together for a song they collaborated on. It reminded me of the “California Love” video. Things went awry when Hakeem spotted the photo for Jamal’s Rolling Stone cover on set, though. Jealousy kicked in, and they went to blows.

Cookie done got arrested while looking like a Michael Jackson impersonator. As they put her in the car, she made a reference to Sandra Bland, stating, “If I die in police custody, I did NOT commit suicide!” #sayhername The DA wanted her to snitch on Lucious, but Cookie wasn’t having it. She even threatened to drag Cookie’s sons through the mud if she didn’t start talking. Still, she wasn’t having it and wasn’t thinking about the DA or her wack-ass weave. Meanwhile, though, she had flashbacks of when she was in prison and wasn’t trying to relive that. She had to do something.

She called for DA Roxanne to come back and told her that while she didn’t know whether Lucious killed Bunky, she knew they were beefing over a deal with Apex. Ah ha! That info was perfect for Roxanne. Since Lucious had put the deal in place as soon as he got out, that story made sense. And guess what? She was going to stop that shit for sure. Go ‘head, Cookie! #thegamegotswitched Looks like Lyon Dynasty songs can be played on the radio now. *singing* “Show ’em how funky, strong is your fight.” #beatit beatit

Poor Andre was groveling again at the beginning of this episode. Lucious still wasn’t welcoming him back to Empire, though. Dre asked Lucious if he could have his job back as CFO under the condition that he made the FBI investigation go away. Lucious promised him whatever he wanted if he could make that mess go away. Bet. Andre was on it. Rhonda joined Andre in the woods to help dig up the body. Because: ride-or-die. I’m further questioning her pregnancy, because: Who does that??

Anyway, they were digging a hole but coming up with nothing, which was strange. They’d buried the body in front of tree with a hole in it. Rhonda soon discovers that all of the surrounding trees have the same hole! Damn, damn, damn!!! Suddenly, they saw lights approaching and jumped in the hole they were digging. Who was it? Lucious and Atty. Easter Suit. Lucious put a tracking device on Dre’s car after their discussion because he figured something was up. Hmm… Okay. Atty. Easter Suit happened to have a device that would detect where a body was. (Maybe he was a boy scout when he was little; always prepared.) Yahtzee, bishes! They found Vernon’s body. Rhonda told Lucious that she killed Vern by accident, and he was tickled. She saved his life! Go, daughter-in-law!

Andre had some final words to say to Uncle Vernon. You know God’s been working on him, and helping hide that body has been haunting poor Dre. He told his dead uncle that he loved and forgave him. Lucious asked if he could have a moment to say goodbye as well. When everyone was out of earshot, he leaned down and said, “Rest in hell, you snitch.” Oh. Damn. Okay.

NOW Andre is welcomed back to Empire. FOH, Lucious.

At the end, Roxanne was on the phone, confirming that Lucious’ deal with Apex was deaded. She got in her car and saw a surprise in her passenger seat. A corpse! Heyyyy, Vernon!

olaraye

Also:

  • Why did Cookie look like she had a Pull-Up on her head?

    EMPIRE: Pictured L-R: Bryshere Gray as Hakeem Lyon and Taraji P. Henson as Cookie Lyon in the ÒPoor YorickÓ episode of EMPIRE airing Wednesday, Oct. 14 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Chuck Hodes/FOX.
     ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Chuck Hodes/FOX.
  • The suit Cookie had on when she met with Lucious about calling a truce? That was straight out of her 1995 collection.
  • “Dora,” Jamal’s boo, wasn’t feeling all of the attention the Rolling Stone photographer was giving Jamal.
  • Anika and Cookie’s merry-go-round relationship is draining me.
  • While getting drunk at a low-key bar/lounge, Hakeem was intrigued by another Latina who was singing en Espanol. She seemed tender and innocent. I hope he leaves her alone. But um… is he even twenty-one?
  • Lucious lit a pic of him, Bunky, and Vernon on fire and let it burn in his trash can at work. Hmm… I wonder what material that receptacle is made of.
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