Scandal: The Unsung True Hollywood Dateline Story of Olivia Pope

Dog-Whistle Politics  S5, Ep 4

In a news report that, to me, was a mashup of all of the shows named in the post title, a woman tells the story of Olivia Pope from (before) her birth to present-day. From when her Dad told a colleague he wanted to “raise an African-American girl who felt fully entitled to own the world as much as any white man” to her now feeling Iike she’s entitled to bone the ruler of the free world – a white man. Maybe her “manufactured sense of privilege” is the reason she’s in the situation she’s in now. They explored.

Every network was covering her story, painting her as a tough game-changer who didn’t fall far from the tree, a fashion icon, and a ho who dated older, powerful men to gain prestige. BUT she was also smart and articulate. Go ‘head, black girl with an attitude!

“Dad” could be working with someone on the outside, and Jake is determined to find out who. Papa Pope was unbothered as usual. His reply: “Happy hunting.” I just wanna know what the hell Lazarus One is.

Quinn met with Marcus Walker. Actually, she pretended to be his date, when actually, she was being HR manager for OPA. She wanted him on their team. They needed someone else to help out since Liv wasn’t working, and maybe he could serve as a distraction-of-sorts from the Liv Scandal. “Do you wanna be a gladiator in a suit?” (I’m not sure whether she had an official application in her purse and a W-4, but…) Marcus replied with a hearty “Hell no!” They’re too shifty and shady for him. Later, he changed his mind. He needed the coins. AND he was there to help a sista (Olivia) out since she’d helped him in the past. The media reports were portraying Olivia as Super Ho who slept her way to the top, when she was a fuggin’ BAWSE! How dare they? She went to one of the best schools in Europe! EUROPE, bish!!! But that’s what they have to say about her? Nope. Him no likey.

marcus

Fitz was also upset that Liv’s dirty laundry (panties, to be exact) is all over the news. He blamed Abby and wanted to fire her. Liv told him not to be an idiot. Abby did exactly what she would’ve done. And she’s offended that he wants to swoop in and rescue her when she didn’t need to be rescued. Lies. But I do agree that he shouldn’t be the one rescuing her. Meanwhile, someone was snapping pics of her through her open curtains and it freaked her out. She rushed Fitz off the phone and started snatching the drapes closed. I was thinking: Come on, Liv. You’re smarter than that. You’ve been kidnapped and such. Roughed up. You should’ve had tinted windows with bars on them, some Home-Alone-inspired booby traps set up, and Huck sleeping on your couch again. But then guess who showed up? Quinn and Huck. (Shonda should let me in the writers room with them for a week. #IJS) Huck told her she wouldn’t have to worry about being photographed from the apartment across from her because he rented it. BOOM.

Jake swooped up Charlie and told him they needed to go to Paris. Gave him some B613 Lazarus One speak, and they were off. When Charlie went to hook him up with his connect over there, it was apparent that they already knew each other. Charlie introduced the beauty as Elise. Jake stared at her and repeated her name. Her reply to his name: “Is that what you’re calling yourself?” Welp. Deal off. She bounced like, No, thanks. Jake showed up at her place later and demanded that she let him in. They argued about what apparently was a misunderstanding. They were supposed to meet up at Grand Central Station. When? I’on know. But Jake was there. She was not. She said she was late and he should have waited. He thought she was dead. Oh, boy. Here we go with this spy life. Why were they meeting there, and what was she doing that could’ve gotten her killed? We don’t know yet. But wait. What do we have here? After staring at her some more, Jake shared that he loved being married to her. Say what now??? Jake was married! *insert kisses on the couch that probably led to a lil’ somethin’ else*

Mellie skipped into a room with the women of the Senate, thinking she was there to discuss current bills/laws and whatnot. Nope. They called her there because they want to impeach Fitz.

mellie-meets-with-the-other-women-senators
Wait. WHET?

When she told Cyrus, he was like Why? For having an affair? His statement was basically a verbal shrug off. Cue Mellie’s “They wanna impeach a man” speech. She was tired of people acting like men cheating wasn’t shit, and it annoyed her that women are painted as the ones who let their hormones dictate their actions. “What is more hormonal than a man who can’t keep it in his pants?”  She even shouted out Olivia on the low by saying Fitz was the one humping around, and Olivia was the only one being raked over the coals. RRRRRREAD, Mellie Mel!!!!! Still, she said she wasn’t down with impeaching him. It would look like she was just a woman scorned. Cyrus was like, Pump your brakes! You may have something here. It doesn’t have to be vindictive. It can be patriotic. You could be in favor of his impeachment because you love America – not because you hate him.

Mellie showed up at the White House and found Fitz crawling around on their/his/America’s bedroom floor playing hide-and-seek with Teddy. Oh, shit! I forgot Teddy existed. While Fitz pretended to not know where Teddy was, he and Mellie had a tender moment. He took her by the hand, and they gazed into each others’ eyes. She told him doesn’t want to fight anymore and, “If you don’t hurt me, I won’t hurt you.” Cool. Truce.

Cyrus wasn’t down with that decision. Mellie told him to let it go. Fitz was her husband. He was only Cyrus’ colleague and friend. Her heart was broken, but she wasn’t going to destroy him. Cy called bullshit, saying Mellie’s heart wasn’t broken because she never loved Fitz. She only used him and coexisted with him. HE truly loved him. Fitz was like his son, his soul. (At that moment, I asked Jesus if someone could one day feel like I was their soul. I digress.) Cy went on. Mellie’s child is dead. He’s safe in the ground and she could see him whenever she wanted. Because: dead. (I swear he said that boy was dead a good three, four times.) His child was surrounded by vultures at the White House, and he couldn’t go help him. (Lemme find out Fitz ever called Cy “Daddy.”) Anyway, Mellie had the vacant did-this-son-of-a-bitch-just-say-that look during Cyrus’ entire rant and politely told him to GTFO once he finished. He was happy to. In fact, he quit!

Back in Paris… Elise was shot while Jake and Charlie tried to watch her negotiate through a crappy feed. They rushed in to rescue her. In the hospital bed, she told Jake that she never showed up at Grand Central Station. (Jake never wins.) “We’re spies. There’s no forever for us.” No love. Umph, umph, umph. Always the glutton for punishment, Jake didn’t address her statement. He asked her to go back to the U.S. with him. The hell???

Fitz met with some of the male senators about he wayward penis scandal. He thought he’d do a couple little favors for them and all would be right with the world. Nah, son. They backed Fitz into a corner. Stanley was the Lead Asshole. After kicking everyone else out of the room, he told Fitz there was nothing to negotiate. Kill the Brandon Bill, keep your job, muhfu – um – Sir. He even gave Fitz some free advice, saying the next time he decides to cheat on his wife, he needs to choose someone more “palatable to the base.” The hell??? Racist bastard. And bully. Fitz was all, “What is that supposed to mean?” but didn’t make Stanley flinch. (You can’t even defend your girlfriend’s honor, but you wanna rescue her. Stop, Fitz. Stay in your lane. Jake would’ve snatched that dude’s tongue out and fed it to the family dog.)

Back at her apartment, Liv was looking at all the terrible things being said about her and shared them with Fitz, who was on the phone with her. There were rape threats. Death threats. Apparently that’s what she deserved. Little did they know, she’d survived being kidnapped. She’d shot a man. She wouldn’t hesitate to “Take out a little bit PTSD ” on their punk asses.

Yessssssss!!!!

Through her tears, she declared that she’s fine. No, she’s losing it. Only a little, though. No, she’s fine. Sigh… Liv needs some good girlfriends who will cuss out reporters, drink wine with her, pop in movies, and hug her pain away. Oh, and make her go to therapy.

Elsewhere, Marcus was greeted by a swarm of reporters. He ignored them until he heard them say, “well-spoken” when describing Olivia. They wanted to know why she wasn’t speaking up for herself. For those of you who don’t know, that “well-spoken” adjective is a trigger for most black folks. It usually implies that we speak surprisingly well for a measly black person. So, he went IN. He called the media out on their shenanigans. When Quinn and Huck tried to check him, he told them he gladiates by swinging. Oop. Welp. I declare a knockout. He coached the two on “Dog-whistle politics,” and they turned the tables on reporters in interviews. Enough was enough.

At the White House, the pres went to Abby for advice re: the Brandon Bill. He didn’t want to give it up. What would Olivia do? She told him Olivia would do the smart thing. He pondered a bit and said he wasn’t interested in doing the smart thing. He wanted to do the right thing. While Liv watched on the news, his motorcade pulled up to her building. What was he doing there? He was “doing the right thing.” He was taking his girlfriend on a date. They made out on the elevator in front of all his peeps, and he proudly escorted her to his car in front of the cameras.

Now Mellie is ready to impeach his ass. NOW she must feel all the way disrespected because the rest of his dealings with Olivia weren’t quite enough to thoroughly piss her off. I guess that was the straw that broke that Mellie the Camel’s back. NOW she’s hurt. NOW she was ready to hurt him. They had a deal, and he didn’t hold up his end of it. She met with the women of the senate again. NOW his ass gotsta go. #impeach

rih no

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