So… I fell asleep on my couch at about 9:45 last night. Woke up at 11-sum’n with my shoulder damn near stuck in the awkward position it was in when I was laying on it. Needless to say I was annoyed. AND in pain. I remembered I had clothes in the washing machine, so (Sorry, neighbors below me!) I threw those in the dryer using my one good arm and returned to the couch.
(Stay with me.)
Since I was wide awake, I did some work and then did some pissin’ around on social media. Because: Duh, that’s what you do at 12-sum’n in the morning – that, and watch Wendy Williams. Facebook was “Meh.” There was no new clapping or clapping back on Twitter because Muva (Amber Rose) shut Kanye dowwwwn. All I had left was Instagram. I decided to go to Rihanna’s page because my coworker was listening to a snippet of her song earlier in the day and said he was listening on Instagram. I was checking to see if she had posted anything new.
GAWTDAMMIT, she did!!! She posted the whole album!
Suddenly, my shoulder pain wasn’t so bad and I was super-extra wide awake. I wasn’t excited like, “OMG! The best vocalist in the world released her album.” I was excited like, “Rihanna is my homie-in-my-head, clapback queen extraordinaire, and author and finisher of the Guide to Not Giving Not Nan Fuck; and I’m here for her. Always.” Oh, AND she’s a Pisces. (If you haven’t deduced, I’m also a Pisces. And yes, that matters.)
I’ve listened the the album thrice now, and here are my thoughts:
It’s quite obvious that RiRi hasn’t abandoned her island sound. I don’t think any of us who like her music wanted her to. Overall, the album is cool. Not her best, but cool. I’ll always appreciate a few well-placed F-bombs and other spicy language in the middle of an R&B song, and Rihanna does not disappoint when it comes to that. I think I wanted a couple more party songs reminiscent of Cheers (Drink to That) and some catchy hooks, but I’ll still get my life at her concert in March. Trust.
Track by track ratings…
PLAY THAT BACK! (Give me more. Put it on repeat. YAAASSSSSSSS!!!)
- Consideration – RiRi wants us to let her live, let her grow, damnit! She wants to do things her own way.
- Kiss It Better – This track gives me TLC Red Light Special guitar realness!!! I feel like I’m reliving the late 90’s when I listen to this. Raw and sexy at the same time, this song is a hit. I’ve been humming/singing the chorus all day. *MY FAVE*
- Needed Me – “You was just another n*gga on the hit list. Tryna fix your inner issues wit’ a bad bitch. Didn’t they tell you that I was savage. Fuck your white horse and a carriage.” YESSSSSS!!!! The lyrics are why I will play this back. Classic Rihanna shade. Those lines alone remind of the time 50 Cent said he wouldn’t dare date Rihanna because she has dudes messed up in the head after they date her. LOL!
- Yeah, I Said It – This could make the playlist. You know… THE playlist. (For those of you who are still confused, I mean the bedroom playlist, the grown folks playlist, the put in work playlist.) She said, “I want you to homicide it.” SAY HUH, RIRI????????? I HEAR THAT!
- Close to You – This ballad soothes my soul. It’s vulnerable, honest, and sweet – the other side of our edgy bad gal.
LET IT RIDE. (It’s tolerable. You don’t mind it being on, but you could live without it. You know, it can play while you clean the house and you won’t pull off your yellow rubber gloves just to go into the other room and skip the track. After a few listens, you will probably end up singing the words or dancing to the beat.)
- James Joint – This song makes me feel like I should be smoking weed. It just has that kind of vibe. I don’t smoke, but I bet smokers appreciate this one.
- Work – Um… This has to grow on me. It hasn’t moved me like it has others, but I get tickled when it sounds like she’s just mumbling like she forgot the words.
- Desperado – I haven’t quite figured out why this song exists on the album, but okay.
- Woo – I think this gets a pass because of the lyrics.
- Same Ol’ Mistakes – I can’t help but do a little bop to this. I feel like I would get my entire life to this if I had the right drank in me and was at a lounge.
- Love on the Brain – It’s doowop mixed with a little rock & roll, topped off with a little tenderness. It feels like the emotional roller coaster that love can be.
TURN THAT OFF! (Um. Why?? I mean, somebody loves this, but it isn’t me.)
- Never Ending – Not my speed. That’s all I got.
- Higher – I dig the lyrics, but oh my GAWD! I get that she was going for edgy here, but it sounds like it’s hurting her to sing. She speaks of drinking whiskey, and I’m thinking she had been drinking whiskey in real life and just decided to hop on the mic. I’m glad it’s just an interlude.