2016 VMAs: That Rihanna Reign Just Won’t Let Up

  • RiRi surprised the hell outta me and opened the show. YESSSSSS!!!! (Actually, she ended up doing four sets throughout the night. Very clever on MTV’s part. They made me watch the entire show.)

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  • Puffy decided to wear a blouse over his t-shirt.
  • Drake won Best Hip Hop Video for “Hotline Bling.”
  • Nicki Minaj and Ariana Grande performed. Ariana showed off by singing and riding a spin bike at the same damn time. I can barely walk up steps and talk on the phone without sounding winded. Kudos!!
  • Nicki’s hose made her legs look plastic. Maybe she was keeping in theme. You know, #Barbie. She lightweight seemed like she didn’t want to be there. She looked like she was just going through the motions. IMG_20160829_062329
  • Alicia Keys is still giving us fresh face realness. I’m not sure what the hell was going on with her hair, though. Or her dress. It’s like she’s morphing into Lisa Bonet, and only Lisa Bonet can pull that shit off. I have placed her on the prayer list just in case she’s going through something.
  • Michael Phelps revealed that he’s a huge hip-hop fan before he introduced Future.
  • I still don’t know what Future raps about, but I bounce on occasion. The crowd loved him, though.
  • Kanye didn’t let us down. His rant included shout outs to Ray J and Amber Rose and reminding us that Taylor lied about “Famous.” Oop! I blacked out on the rest. Y’all gotta stop cheerin’ him on, though. Y’all are a part of the problem.

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    What are they talmbout??
  • He also debuted his new video that featured Teyana Taylor poppin’, lockin’, droppin’, and humpin’ the floor. Her body makes me want to fast until Christmas, do crunches in my sleep, and do lunges and squats instead of regular walking.
  • Key & Peele were HORRIBLE hosts. Super corny.
  • Nick Jonas performed in a diner and brought the bacon. These cameramen stayed out of his mouth. I’m back to crushin’ on his cute self. The BBMAs messed me up for months.
  • Beyonce performed almost all of “Lemonade.” She wore her leotard (per usual) and tried a bit too hard to twerk and hit those dutty winds. I saw more of her ass than I prefer. *shrug* Live, girl.
  • I feel like she tried to shit on Rihanna’s night, but I won’t elaborate.
  • Britney Spears was her usual self but still impressed me. She need not don or carry a mic, though. Just move your lips and dance, girl. We already know. I like her new song. Is it new?
  • Drake presented Rihanna with her Video Vanguard Award. Y’all. They are so f’n cute. She blushed damn near the whole time he spoke and was all schoolgirl-ish. He was blushing, too. In true Emo Drake style, he professed and confessed that he’s been IN love with her for years. Been IN love. She played him off, but it was still ca-ute!! I think they go together again (Yes, I said “go together.”), but she wants to keep it a mystery this time. Whatever the case, I’m here for it. For a moment, I thought he was gonna propose, and I was nervous as hell. She looked to be too, at one point. HA!

Check out his speech below, and catch one of the 25,000 reruns of the show if you missed it. It’s definitely worth watching.

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